My personal schisms with the Church continue deeper than just the mass.  And it's really these issues that are the hardest things to deal with - meaning, they make me wonder why I go to mass.

The Church stands firm against the use of contraceptives, except in specific situations that accord with natural family planning.  I think that this stance is ridiculous.  They say that all sex should be procreative and between man and wife.  I wonder how they can say this when they see how HIV and AIDS has killed millions of people around the world.  Catholic missionaries should be going to Africa and giving them cases of condoms, not preaching abstinence.  Maybe then the populations of third world countries wouldn't be skyrocketing.  Maybe then the poorest people in the world wouldn't be having children they could never afford.  Abstinence doesn't work.  The human sex drive (mainly the male's) is too powerful to be overcome by a priest saying "no sex before marriage."  I agree that sex is the ultimate act of love.  But I don't agree that that's all it is.  Consensual sex is holy.  Inside and outside of marriage.  I don't know where the idea of sex became taboo but I regret the occurrence.  

The Church also condemns homosexuality.  While I am not homosexual, I am still outraged.  This stance is really the most absurd of them all.  Homosexuals do no choose to be homosexual.  Sexual orientation is not a choice.  How does the Church just sit there and continue to refuse to acknowledge this?  I'm sure there are millions of gay people out there who would love to be part of the Catholic Church, but can't because they're treated like witches in Salem.  What's the difference between a woman marrying another woman and a woman marrying a man?  There's no difference.  They still love each other.  Could the Pope look a gay person in the eyes and tell them they're going to hell just for being gay?  If he could, I would say that the Pope's going to hell. 

The Church has always been pro-life.  While I agree that every unborn child deserves a chance to live, I am forced to think of the woman giving birth to that child.  I would like to say that I am pro-life, but I can't.  I need to hear the circumstances.  Abortion is different thing when your little sister gets raped (no, my little sister wasn't raped).  And I'm not sure that I agree that life begins at conception.  It's an issue that's muddled for me.

These issues are greatest dividing forces between the Church and I.  Additionally, my views on capital punishment and women in the Church don't exactly line up.  Even though I maintain these radically opposing views, I call myself Catholic.  I feel I am Catholic more in faith than in church.  But then, is that really Catholic at all?  I grew up Catholic.  The Church has given me countless gifts.  Among them: my conscience, my education, my morals.  I owe a lot to my faith.  Is it wrong that I don't think that debt needs to be paid to the Pope?  Or to the priest?